Managing Social Anxiety as Activities Pick Up This Spring
While winter is known as a time of settling in, snow days by the fire and practicing hygge in a cozy house, spring time is for social butterflies to come alive. Spring starts the long list of weddings, graduations, class parties, spring break vacations and filling the calendar every weekend. While for some this is a long awaited invitation to socialize, for others the nerves, worries and anxiety set in.
Social anxiety, while not talked about as much as general anxiety, is a common anxiety disorder affecting close to 10% of the country's population (American Psychiatric Association, 2024). Not only is social anxiety common, it is treatable with therapy practices including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy which uses practical thought and behavior skill building to combat social anxiety.
Social Uptick in the Spring
Not only does springtime bring more calendar invitations from everyone wanting to get together after downtime in the winter, there's also changes in routine and weather that bring more social gathering. Longer daytime hours mean more time to spend with others after school and work and nicer weather begs for outdoor time spent hiking, camping, and picnicking with friends. Outdoor events also yield bigger crowds which bring on another layer of social anxiety. Events like graduations, parties, presentations and conferences also play into increased social time this season.
For someone with social anxiety all of this increases negative thought patterns:
Mind-reading (“They’re judging me.”)
Catastrophizing (“I’ll embarrass myself.”)
Overgeneralizing (“I’m always awkward.”)
The spotlight effect (“Everyone is watching me.”)
Often it's not the event that causes anxiety - we want to attend weddings for those we love, walk proudly across the stage at graduation and celebrate warm weather with barbecues and backyard parties - what causes anxiety is the perception of the event.
Social Anxiety Cycle
Here is the common cycle that happens for those with social anxiety:
Trigger (invitation, gathering, presentation)
Anxious thoughts (“They will see I’m nervous,” “They won’t like me”)
Physical sensations (sweaty, nauseous, hyperventilating)
Avoidance behavior (leave early, arrive late or cancel)
Sense of relief (temporary relief- that does not last long)
Fear reinforced (you get anxious for the next event and want to avoid or leave early again and you repeat the cycle)
Anxiety is rooted in the false idea that the problem is too big and the person feels too small, or incapable, of dealing with the situation. Avoidance, although providing temporary relief of fear, reinforces the feelings of incompetence. The only way to fight anxiety is to prove capability and face the fear.
CBT Tactics to Build Confidence
Positive Thinking
Identify fears around the social event
Write down what evidence there is supporting this fear (if any) and evidence that this fear is false
Reframe the fear with a more balanced thought
For example: Replace “I’ll do something embarrassing” with the more helpful thought, “Everyone has embarrassing moments, we can laugh it off”
Limit Avoidance
Notice avoidance tactics (always on your phone around others, leaving early, only talking to the one safe friend, drinking alcohol to soothe anxiety, cancelling more often than not)
Challenge yourself to limit the amount of avoidant behaviors you engage in during one event (only check your phone for 2 minutes at a time, leave only 30 minutes early, no alcohol)
Face the Fear- Exposure Therapy
Start with a social event you are excited about and care about
Stay past the anxiety, let it subside over time
After the event- focus on what went well and reward yourself for facing your fears
Increase the amount of social events over time
The goal is not complete absence of anxiety, the goal is regulation, confidence building and increasing tolerance for discomfort.
Emotional Regulation Practices - For When Anxiety Arises
Box breathing - in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4
Notice the anxious thoughts and reframe with self-compassion
Grounding exercises - focus on the present moment and use your senses- notice things you can see, hear and feel
Remind yourself that anxiety is uncomfortable, not dangerous and remind your body you are safe
Aim for participation over perfection - your presence is what matters to those around you.
Professional Help is Available
Social anxiety can be debilitating - leading to panic attacks, avoidance more often than not, self-esteem issues and depression. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is evidence based and highly effective for treating social anxiety by building new, practical skills. In fact, CBT Denver is the Denver Regional Clinic for the National Social Anxiety Center, an organization dedicated to making the highest quality, evidence-based psychotherapy services to treat social anxiety available to those in need.
Contact Us for help.